Doug Weller Writer

Little Titch itched his itchy itch.

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He hugged until her bones cracked.

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Chemical toilet. No paper. £225 ticket.

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Beauty’s skin deep? Let’s find out!

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Teachers pet. Uses classroom litter tray.

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How cold she became by morning.

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No earthly way. But I’ll try.

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The face in the mirror smiled back.

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She’s got the look he looks for.

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They never returned from their honeymoon.

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His bones bent ’till they buckled.

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Beneath the stars, they finally kiss.

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He learned to love too late.

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The teeth sunk into my flesh.

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“…The man… in the wall… is watching…”

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Forced to cancel her maternity leave.

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The killer grinned at the accused.

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Final love letter lit the fire.

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We became me when you left.

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You left, and we became me.

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The groom ballooned.  The bride cried.

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The wedding resumed without the groom.

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The mountain shrank to a hill.

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Appeasement failed. Bombs dropped. Justice restored.

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The spider’s venom. Paralysis then calmness.

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Wrapped in foil,  ready for pot.

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Poisoned apple tasted sweet to Amy.

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Twins reunited. Both agreed – never again.

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Flat share: professionals only. Preferably exorcist.

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Busking bagpiper slaughtered – cruel but inevitable…

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“Why’s Uncle Graham’s eyes like mine?”

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“Call an ambulance… This’ll be quick.”

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Left your mark across my heart.

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Your words bleed through my keyboard.

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“Blindfold?”

“Kinky.”

“Handcuffs…”

“Wow.”

“Axe.”

“Erm.”

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The volunteers lined up to die.

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Tried annoying wizard. Turned into goat.

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His last legs grew last legs.

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Burnt skin peeled like an orange.

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Emergency services listened to me die.

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Because life’s short, she said no.